Why do Pork Chops like to make you wait?

After spending the morning entering my usual thousand (I'm exaggerating) sweepstakes, hoping for that 10 day trip to Thailand, or a new Mercedes, but realizing that I'd also be just as happy with a $10 gift card, or a bag of salad (organic would be a plus), and then spending two luscious hours with Johnny Depp (OK - well - I actually went to see "Alice In Wonderland,") which I thoroughly enjoyed -- "OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!" I returned home to address the dinner situation while regaling the rest of my family with scenes from the movie, of which they weren't really interested in because it was dinner time, and they actually were just nodding and wondering when they were going to get to eat.



Anyway, the large metal alter was lit with ceremonial splendor (we just dumped the coals in the grill and torched it) and then the pork chops were slapped on the grates while the natives circled. The side dishes were prepared, drinks were handed out, and then we...waited, and waited, and waited. We turned, and flipped, and turned, peering and poking, sniffing, and muttering, while the pork chops stubbornly just took their own sweet time cooking. A few natives wondered off to check out the television, one started waxing the car, one puttered in their flowers, and me, I just started munching on cookies...




It occurred to me that pork is sort of zen in that way -- it gives one time to reflect, get some chores done, catch up on the local news, commune with nature, and have a snack, and allows one to realize that there's more to life than just standing around waiting for dinner to be done. I hadn't really thought about this before, but I guess I'm kinda glad that I had the opportunity to learn today's lesson -- Johnny Depp is awesome, and pork chops are very crafty!